Sunday, January 13, 2008

Grady Glenn's Letter to Mom

This just in from Grady Glenn:
Mom,

Yesterday I attended a lecture titled 「アメリカ製薬会社の普及と世界への損害」 (roughly translated as "The Rise of Drug Companies in America, and The Damage They Have Caused Around the World"), in which the speaker, a renowned psychologist based here in Tokyo, argued that all of these new "diseases" such as A.D.D. are bullshit, and that the drug-pushing pharmaceutical companies over the past century have been working with psychiatrists and the U.S. government to invent fake diseases to keep the population sedated and hooked on these highly profitable new meds.

The only way to break this cycle of addiction, according to the speaker, is to reject this drug culture in toto, to think of doctors as the enemy, and to go with natural methods of recovery (healthy diet, exercise, etc). Br--t should heed this advice, because if he doesn't, he'll most likely be hooked for the rest of his life. He also might want to consider joining the Scientologists. Granted, they might be a bit nutty; but these are nutty times.

Fixing his personality, however, is another matter. For that, I suggest he stop watching the BET Channel all hours of the day, and begin a project of self-cultivation by reading first Russell Kirk's The Conservative Mind, the seminal work on Anglo-American traditionalist conservativism that lays out the six "canons of conservative thought."

If that doesn't work, maybe he should join the Nation of Islam. They're big on personal responsibility and self-reliance, which should help him get over his dependency issues. And Louis Farrakhan, despite great flaws, can be a very inspiring figure.

-Grady Glenn

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