Monday, June 28, 2010

Letter to Mom (Or, Cancelled Request for Automated Thought Transcriber)

Dear Mom,

Dr. Fahim, a friend of mine who gets paid by Google to make our world more ergonometric, recently asked me, "What technologies, if made accessible, would improve your life?" I told him, a device that transcribes my thoughts into my blog on command. He said he’d look into it.

But after spending the last few days examining my own thoughts, I now wish I’d answered differently. You see, for the most part my thoughts are formless, stupid, ungrammatical, and are constantly moving between two entirely unrelated linguistic systems.

To illustrate, I’ll transcribe the thought that just flashed through my head, exactly as it occurred. Incidentally, it was a memory from childhood.

You and the girl and we had become chummy over ten years from now.その時間からあなたの住宅に入ることのポイントに正常な人が何かから見る見る間に見ることのできない世界を導入する、何が来る?That time, I was the youth who still wears the boot. また世界ちょうどアメリカのすばらしい人の陰だったようである事実、ロシアの大統領も、この違反の状態を同時に書いた時、そして、今、私、私のよう な状態が低いところにある。また2人がchummyになった事実、非常にそれらのための独自性の種類の機会にthough it was safe and inviting in the villa that is your family and my family do the fireworks with everyone and/or swim with the river, it is to hide it is the cell in the forest, doing, gently tickling her breasts, that time it was pleasantly and truly is. 私達は偽りなく認める。Never mind the world is not thought enough even in the how-dream where am I who am born with afflatus or status can play with such a party, with you did not enter at that time unintentionally?
See what I mean? It doesn’t make any sense. No one would ever read it. So, Fahim, if you’re reading this, go ahead and scrap my request for an automated thought transcriber.

Your dutiful son,


Anonymous said...

Just one thing: Why would Fahim be reading a letter to your Mom?

- Josh Lander

J. Margaret said...

He would read a letter to me because he reads your blog. Now for your commentary, you have been living in Japan for too long. Your thoughts are confused and choppy. You remind me of Grandma Hasmig speaking Armenian, English and Russian all at once.

As far as technology, your brother has a great idea to help out people related to the medical community. but if I post it, someone may steal it. You will just have to ask him when you come home.

That is all, please respond to my emails. love mom

Ryan said...


"He would read a letter to me because he reads your blog."

That's funny.

-Your dutiful son,

Anonymous said...

R u ok son? I am concerned. love mother I think I will call tonight.